On why I sometimes hate the Crab...

It lied
And looked the other side
It hid
Its face, embarrassed
It cowered
And ran away… All its life
It gave up
Hurt and harassed

It stammers
It pleads to let go
It tries
To find reasons to live
It avoids
Facing the hostile world
It cries
At what life had to give

It may
Survive the pangs of fate
And brave
The blemish, the pain
If only
It would get from the Skies
A chance
To live again




Crab: Poor thing… Wonder if an anti pimple cream would be of any help…
Me: There goes my poetry...

Dorm 4, Room No. 21

Dragging his palm on the coarse concrete patterns on the wall, he slowly walked through the dark corridor of the dormitory. Somehow he dint want to engage in his routine chat over a smoke with pals, post dinner. It had been one and a half years in the B school and meals had anyway become a mere formality to keep oneself alive through the grind.… But that night he was totally aloof from the world around him… as if put inside a sound proof glass dome.

Entering his room, he locked it from inside, and silently settling down on the bed with his laptop, he logged on to the social networking site… the best way to be amongst millions and yet be invisible…

And then, he read what she had to say about him... for the zillionth time...

Fraud
Lies liberally
Can’t flirt to save his life
Fulltoo movie buff
Thinks he knows more than me
(Umm… He doesn’t…)
Wishes he could marry Cricket… as if it’s not been screwed enough already…
Can talk about nothing for hours
Never gets tired of trying
Invariably calls up at the wrong time
Falls asleep while talking on the phone
“Ill call you” means That’s all folks!
Celebrates life
That’s him. The fraud.

His eyes searched the room for the candle she had gifted him on his birthday last year. It sat near the mirror along with a beer bottle given to him by his ex roomie and a dear friend… He had lit it only once before. A part of wax from the top had melted forming patterns on its sides.... It had lost its sheen and become a paler nuance of blue from the bright sky blue color that was.

He recalled the blooming orange colored shawl she was clad in that morning. And how her laughter had filled the classroom as their class rep, Diggu, cracked a stupid joke. He smiled absent mindedly.

Suddenly a shrill voice filled the air, almost making him jump from his bed.

“Pyare! SCOP club meeting’s at 1… immediately after the QSP quiz tomorrow!!… We’ll wait for you in the hall.. ok!”

Diggu. Only he can be crazy enough to shout his kidneys out like that…
QSP… He weighed his chance of getting a ‘B’ in the last quiz…

“Pyare?? You slept or what… you egghead!!”

Frowning, he shouted back… “Affirmative!! And get lost before I get your brain baked and served for breakfast tomorrow!!!”. He could hear Diggu’s chuckle fade away into the dark of the alley.

He let out a long breath. Should he speak his mind and just tell her? It had been a long and a painful wait already. He checked the chat window. She was online. The status said: 'available'. He stared at the screen for a few minutes studying his heartbeat… then logged off and quietly kept the laptop aside.

Resting his head on the heap of three cushions stacked at the end of his bed, he looked at the blue candle near the mirror... closed his eyes... smiled... and said to himself...

"Fir kabhi…

....Kal… Pakka…"

The Green Room

"I know you've been wondering why im doing this. But i have to. I have to move on.... I thought about it. Not once.. but a zillion times. It would have never worked. Never. I know you feel that i used you... and that i am the meanest person on the face of Earth to be doing this to you."

She looked out of the window, fighting the urge to hate herself.

"I was rude, I know... Cruel at times... Treated you as if you meant nothing to me... But i really liked you. And thats it. There were times when i questioned whether it was love or an honestly non platonic piece of feeling... It wasnt love for sure. Maybe it was just a wish to keep all that was mine tightly packed in a box. Whether that was necessary or not."

"Life would be the same without you. I promise. I would get up like everyday.. go to work... come back.. crib.. be my Crabby self and be happy. I promise. And you have to promise me something. Let's play God for once. Let's forget that we were together. Let's forget the first time i had seen you. Let's forget the hours that you clung on to my ears as i happily told myself that i am beautiful. I dont want to say sorry. This was what it was going to be. Both of us knew it. I knew it the very time i lost a piece of you to the sands of the ocean... Let's face it."

She looked at the cone shaped brass earring... wishing she hadn't lost its pair. She held it gingerly between her fingers.. and brought it close to her right earlobe...

"And a number of years hence, if i accidentally find you amidst the sundries in the box, i would want you to smile at me and tell me im still beautiful. I know you'll do that for me."

Carefully placing it back into the box, she fingered her new pair of earrings... They gleamed in the evening sun that trickled into her room from the glass window to the right of the mirror. She was going to wear them tonight. Not the brass earring. She sighed.

"As always I resisted…It was pain beyond explanation, any rationale. I pulled back with all my might, hoping against hope that it would stop. But when you have 5000 years of history against you, it was going to be tough..."

Back to Pavilion...

Conference Room. People clad in business suits arguing why the Cap' rate can't be as per market benchmarks. Nervous glances. Someone stammers. Arguing continues. Someone lets out a slow "yes". Nods. And then we reach the most beloved slide. 'Thank You'.

The project finally came to an end. And a sigh wont be enough. This one needs a day long exhale. Make than two.

Off the blog for over a month. I must be joking. Shucks. I wont say time just flew. 'Cause it *simply* dint.

Sh*t. Look at the effect of continuously preparing draft reports and presentations. The sentences look as if they are earthworms with some stunted growth syndrome…

Ok. I guess its time I stop whining and come to the point. And in the process get back to my usual way of saying it all in one breath.

So I was in Mumbai for almost a month and the whole world knows about it now. Details would be dizzying so il sum it up in a few bullet points. Blame the PPT.

• Quite contrary to what my friends had told me, I loved the city. They say you’ll first hate it and then fall in love with it. Now I really don’t know if it would work backwards for the Crab. Heh.


• Suffered from a month long stomach infection. Survived on bland food for three freaking weeks. Add antibiotics.


• Stayed there for just the right stretch of time. Mumbai was cold at nights, buddies! So enjoyed the nice weather... umm that is when I was not inside the loo or doing the rounds of a clinic, cribbing at my misfortune.


• Met up with all Delhities turned Mumbaikars: Miss Sugar&Spice, The Fraud, Mr. Chase…


• Stayed at my cousins’ place yeah. Reasons being: a relaxed drive to office with my Mamaji who happens to be working in the office raaight next to mine PLUS the awesome time I had with a rumbling stomach and a feeling of a frog stuck in my Larynx (home food .. oh I mean bland home food was the only savior) PLUS the fundamental pull towards bakar and mazza with my cousin sisters

To sum it up, I had a gala time in Mumbai… minus the work… And coming back to Delhi was awesome. Spring time! What more could I ask for!

But the Crab has another reason to smile yeah… She lost four kilos running around doing meetings with goddamned companies in Mumbai and Pune. Heh. Do I Love My Job!

And guess what... Desination next is Thailand... Heh... Me thinks that should be bad news for the Crab. Nai Crabby? What if someone bites into you raw?

Crab: Bah! Grrrrrrinch.. Hmph!